Nit Picking: Topic of Family Council

When Benjy was the Ward Mission Leader our Family attended Family Home Evening for the Ward with New Converts and Investigators of the Church. It was a great experience for the girls most of the time. The lessons were geared toward adults so at times the girls got a little restless and often times we had to keep reminding them to be reverent. Now that we have soccer every Tuesday and Thursday night and Benjy and I use Wednesday nights for our Presidency meetings, we treasure our Monday night, Family Home Evening with the girls. Kaydree loves to conduct and Karsyn gives the best lessons. Benjy usually gives Family Counsel and last night he even shocked me with his impromptu topic.
He started off talking about the need for them to keep their rooms clean and I looked at him, and mouthed, the fighting...??????

Last month when our Home Teacher's were coming over the girls started "nit picking" at each other and Benjy said, "If you two don't stop we are going to ask our HomeTeachers for help with this issue." I could tell Kaydree was calling his bluff by laughing. Well when our Home Teachers asked if there was anything they could help with, Benjy asked them if they could help our girls learn how to stop bickering with each other. Our Home Teachers were great they talked about what our Heavenly Father would want of us to do and that if we love our Savior then that kind of love can help us get along with our sister. They even told the girls that they were going to check in on them and see how it was going.
The girls did great for a day or two and then slowly reverted back, so last night I felt that our Family Counsel needed to touch on this again....plus summer is coming up and they will be together a lot more, so we need to work on this.
So Benjy switched gears from cleaning to the fighting issue and said,"We are going to start making fun of the baby in mom's tummy. Let's start telling it that it's stinky and that we don't like it." (These are some of the statements that come out of Karsyn and Kaydree when they are fighting.)

I think I was just as shocked as the girls.
Kaydree reacted with, "Dad...what are you doing, the baby can hear us, stop, Dad."
Karsyn reacted by crying, saying, "Dad, don't do that, the baby is part of our family."
At this point, I knew what he was going to say next..." Kaydree and Karsyn look at each other, this baby is your brother or sister just like you are to each other. How is it any different then when you are being mean to one another." (I think some of his lawyering skills came out here?)

Then there was dead silence and they just looked at each other and I knew he had hit a home run! I knew that they had just had a huge teachable moment and that this counsel would stick for a little while, anyway!
He then had them stand right in front of each other and tell the other what they loved about them.
Kaydree said, "Karsyn I love that you are very sweet to me and that we have fun together."
Karsyn said, " Kaydree I love that you help take care of me and I love you and I know that you love me."
I am sure the nit picking will start again, but don't think that I won't ask them to come over and tell the baby whatever they are about to yell or tell their sister if it is something mean and I am hoping it will help them realize that we are given families here on this earth in order to love and support one another and it shouldn't change, no matter what age we are!
You know this parenting thing is one of the hardest things in the world. Being consistent is the greatest challenge. At times we do feel like we are making it up as we go and know that all we can do is keep praying, teaching, loving and hoping for the best.