That Sickening Feeling...

Last week I blogged about getting back to a Normal Routine and that life was starting to feel somewhat normal again, Little did I know..Everything was about to change in an instant, again. All week I was cleaning and getting ready for an exciting weekend. Benjy's Parents were flying in from Washington, my family was coming up from Iowa, Kansas and Southern Minnesota for Kyce's Baby Blessing. On Thursday night we were enjoying the evening as the girls were excited helping make preparations for the weekend. I was fighting off a cold, my friend Tanshea had stopped by to bring over some adorable clothes for Kyce, Benjy was out with the missionaries and life just seemed to be in a normal routine. As we were finally getting ready for bed at 11:17 P.M. the phone rang and I said to Benjy, "Who is calling at this time of night? Something is going on." I could hear him answer the phone and with two words, "Oh, No!" I immediately had that sickening feeling that something was very wrong. Due to my Grandma's deteriorating health, I not only assumed something must have happened to her, we all are kind of expecting it so we are trying to somewhat prepare ourselves for it.
Benjy got off the phone and looked sick, himself. He said, "That was your mom, they are taking your dad by ambulance from Marshall to Sioux Falls because he is having chest pains. They think something is wrong with his carotid artery."
How far can a rubber band stretch before it breaks? I hit my breaking point at that moment I felt like I had been stretched too far to hold it all together and I admit, I went into hysterics. So many thoughts started racing through my head. What was the last conversation I had with my dad? Will I see him again. I said to Benjy, "He is going to be okay, right? Because Heavenly Father wouldn't take my Mom's brother and husband within months of each other, right? right? He doesn't give us more than we can handle and my mom couldn't handle losing my dad, too." Of course Benjy said to me..."Kristen, we don't know what the plan is.." Then I immediately dropped to my knees and didn't know if I even had the words or thoughts to start praying, so I asked Benjy to start praying. Almost immediately I felt peaceful but only for a couple of minutes and then I stated to panic, again, so I called my Aunt Karen. She kept telling me,"It will be okay, Krissy, it will be okay." Usually I feel like I have the kind of faith to stay strong and keep it together but for some reason, I couldn't keep it together. I don't know if I was tired, hormonal or just plain scared to death.
I wanted to jump in the car and drive the 6 hours to see my dad. All I could think is that if he was still okay, I wanted to see him and hug him and tell him I love him, just in case something happened. I knew he couldn't answer his phone so of course...I had to text it! Technology...today. I finally got to talk to my mom and she said they wouldn't know any more until morning, so I should try to sleep. It was the longest night ever. Right away in the morning I started packing and getting the kids ready to leave. At times like that it is very inconvenient to have a dog. We couldn't think of any, "dog people," to ask to take Charlee and in mid conversation with Benjy, the phone rang and JoDell said, "We can take Charlee." I felt horrible having to take her up on the offer but we didn't know what else to do at the last minute. Again....thank you so much JoDell and John. Benjy had a huge work day that he had to rearrange and we had to break the news to his parents that we were going to reschedule the blessing. They were, of course, so understanding and sent their thoughts and prayers our way.
My dad looks great here. I have to say walking into that hospital room and seeing my dad hooked up to the monitors and laying there looking so helpless, it just brought me to tears, however I was so thankful that I could hug him and tell him I love him. Benjy was able to give my dad a blessing before his angiogram and it was so reassuring and finally brought me the peace of mind I needed.

Here we are waiting to meet with the Vascular Surgeon. We were in better spirits and we laughed at my dad. He acted like he was imprissioned in his hospital room.

Dad had to walk around with a heart monitor on.

Here he is walking out of the hospital, today! I truly believe that all those prayers offered up in behalf of my dad and our family made a difference. I don't know exactly how they did, but during the blessing, Benjy was able to administer, it was said that we could feel the love and support from so many. I think we all felt lifted up by the love and support of so many family and friends especially at a time when we needed it the most. And maybe, just maybe in the miracle that my dad walked out of that hospital, today!
So what is the prognosis? Well... we have some mixed feelings. We know that one of his grafts from his quadruaple bypass from 10 years ago is completely blocked however his body has created it's own natural bypass. The doctor says, ("it's unusual." I wonder: Miracle?) The round circles are the wires they used to close his chest. We all thought the pictures were interesting.

We also now know that his carotid artery on the left side is competely blocked and they can not fix it. It is too late. We also know that his right side is at the high end of 50-69% blocked, called moderate blocking, because of the risk they will not fix it, until it is 70% blocked. In order to fix it they would have to run more dye through his body which they say they can't do right now because of his diabetes and the possibility of renal failure. So at this point they are going to wait until there is a benefit of fixing the artery that will out weighs the risk of the surgery. Right now, his risk of a stroke is even with the risks associated with surgery. So in three months they will reevaluate the status of the blockage and decide if the risk of stroke is greater. Confusing? We all think so, too! Does it make us a little nervous, yes, but we are remaining optimistic that everything will be okay, until they fix his right carotid artery.

To sum it up: We are all so grateful that we can be with Mom and Dad in their home tonight. We are all looking forward to celebrating his 60th Birthday with him on February 10!
Words can not express our gratitude to all of you that have pleaded with our Father in Heaven in our behalf and kept us in your thoughts.