The Calm Before the Storm.

About 24 hours ago I sat at my computer enjoying the peaceful, quiet morning after the girls left for school. In fact I updated my facebook profile saying how I felt so content and peaceful , that life was good.....and then....

less than 24 hours later...
The storm has hit. I am trying to have faith that everything will be okay. I am maybe a week away from having this little one. In terms of pre-term labor this pregnancy has been so much better than with both of the girls. I will be 36 weeks on Friday and at the beginning of this pregnancy I kept hoping to make it at least to 36 weeks and best hopes for 38 weeks. We have experienced such blessings during this pregnancy and I am ecstatic that this little one is still cookin' and doing well. My doctor is always weighing the risk of a preterm baby versus a rupture of the uterine wall and has been monitoring me very closely. I have been trying to get the H1N1 vaccine but as of last week my doctor said they got 34 doses for 2000 pregnant women. Even with gestational diabetes and being considered high risk, I wasn't able to get a dose. They gave them to those pregnant women with Asthma and heart conditions first. Which is more than understandable. My doctor just kept saying, "Kristen do not get sick with H1N1." Which I would chuckle, thinking of course that is what I am trying not to get.

So yesterday I sat thinking...we are so close, everything is going so well and then... Kaydree and Karsyn both woke up this morning with fevers, coughs, sore throats and body aches. My doctor is putting me on Tami flu as a precaution so that when I need a c-section, I will be healthy and the pediatrician is going to see the girls and hopefully start them on tami flu also. He says they are eligible since I called within the first 48 hours of symptoms.

After a good cry and some panicked thoughts... I started praying, praying and praying. I know that I can not control whether we all get sick, when this baby will be born and how this will all turn out. It is amazing to me how just saying a prayer and asking for some peace, I thought of the Serenity prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference. My wisdom is...I cannot control any of this...a common thought I get when I feel myself trying to control everything that is happening and I feel it building I think..."Let go...and Let God." I trust in him more than myself or anyone else, so I remind myself to TRUST in him and his plan...NO MATTER WHAT...I do not know or see all that he does or even a portion. What I do know is that he loves his children and these times of trials are for our Eternal benefit, our Eternal growth and help us continue to develop an ability to lean on him.

So my goal for today and whatever the next couple days/ or week brings... is to remember that it isn't important that we just make it through this storm but how we weather the storm. I want us to feel peace and faith and trust that ultimately it is our Father in Heaven who is aware of us and our needs and know that he has already provided a way for us to find safety and peace in times like this...