Just Not Ready to Say Goodbye,

even if it is temporary. This picture was taken of my Uncle Lee and my Grandma this summer, over our 4th of July Family Reunion. Lee is my mother's only brother and the "Big Brother" to my mom and her two sisters. I struggled with blogging my thoughts and emotions towards the end of the summer because Lee was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer on August 6th. There were so many times that I wanted to blog and plead for prayers, however it just felt like a time to remain silent and respect a need for this to be endured privately as a family. There were many days and nights that I would sit and cry out of helplessness and at the thought of the pain that Lee and his family were going through. I watched my Grandma deteriorate over the summer physically, mentally and emotionally and even more so after Lee's diagnosis . I watched my mom and her sisters try to support Grandma and Lee's family in any way that they could. At times, I could feel the tender Mercies of the Lord pulling us closer together as a family, even though the pain and the suffering were so great. And yet at times it was obvious that each and every one of us in our own way were struggling to keep some type of normalcy during this time.Three Months and Three weeks after being diagnosed, Lee passed away on Thanksgiving Day. Pancreatic Cancer is a very painful and absolutely horrible type of cancer they estimated that Lee lost almost a 100 pounds in those 3 months. I have tremendous faith in a Father in Heaven and his plans for all of us as his children and yet I am really struggling to try to find the tender mercies in the passing of my Uncle Lee. Why does life here on this earth have to be so much harder for some than others? Lee lost, Roben, his infant daughter to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, his first wife Betty in a tragic car accident and his father to cancer, all taken too early and now Lee has been taken from us, too early and yet... I know we will all see him again. It is our time that we have left on this earth that feels so much harder without him here to share it with.

Lee has always been the rock for this family and especially after my Grandpa passed away from cancer, too. Kaydree was trying to comfort my mom at the funeral, yesterday and said, "Grandma, you know that you will see him again, someday." My mom said, " I know, but sometimes I really need to have him here to talk to."

For me, Lee in some ways was like a second dad. I look at my relationships with my Uncles and they have all helped shape me into the person I am today. They are second dads to me in a way that my children have uncles that are also like second dads.

I had a unique opportunity to work as a "mud tender" for Lee in his Masonry business. During the summer of my Sophomore year in college I was complaining to my dad that I couldn't get enough hours as a cashier at Shopko. He told me, "I bet your Uncle Lee would give you enough hours if you worked for him." I said, "Really?" Then my dad started laughing and said, "Kristen, you wouldn't last a day, working for Lee." Lee was well known for being a hard "A" to work for. (sorry didn't know how else to explain it) At the time he was laying brick on the Fox home in Marshall, so I asked him if I could try a day and he didn't even have to pay me, just to prove that I could last a day. Well he had me striking joints that day, which is the easiest thing I could have done! I thought it was a cake walk and really fun. At the end of the day he said, "Well, are you coming back, tomorrow?" and then I worked for him the rest of the summer and the next summer as well.

What I learned:

You work until Lee told you to wrap up the extension cords.

You don't complain or you would get twice as much to do.

You made it look like you are busy working even if you weren't.(don't lean on your shovel-ever!)

You always did it right the first time.

You always did it right every time!

If you dumped a wheel barrow full of cement...you would never hear the end of it.

You don't question who he told to do something (especially if it was me instead of Tim)... even if it didn't seem fair, or he would give you a look that could kill and make you wonder if he was going to jump out of the hole to let you know that you don't question him.

And most of all... he taught me...

TO LOVE TO WORK. I RESPECT HIM IN A WAY THAT I CAN'T PUT INTO WORDS.

It has always been fun to point out places, houses, buildings that I helped build with Lee to Benjy and the girls. It is crazy to think about how many building foundations, structures, basements, driveways, waste water plants, Casey's Gas Stations and the bricks that he laid around Marshall and the surrounding areas.

My Uncle Lee was amazingly talented at building things, but most importantly he built a beautiful family that loved him very much and will miss him dearly. Looking around at all the people that he loved and that loved him, yesterday, I was humbled. It seemed so unfair to watch my Grandma say goodbye to her son, my aunt to her husband, my cousins to their father, and their children to their grandpa and my mom and her sisters to their brother. I will be forever grateful for my uncle Lee and for all of the lessons I learned from him. Time spent together as a family will not be the same, however I look forward to spending time with him again, in the Eternities to come!