Relay For Life: Cancer Walk

A week ago, last Friday night, we attended the Relay For Life: Cancer walk in Marshall. We have attended this event in the past when we have been in town, but we all felt it was definitely something we didn't want to miss this year. The stands were full and all of the people on the floor in purple were the survivors there to celebrate. Their shirts said, "Had it, fought it, survived it." Grandma came with us. I really don't know how to explain all of the emotions that are experienced at this event. It is difficult...I lost my Grandpa to cancer and this is how this event first became personally significant in my life. And recently taken on even more significance. When you watch someone suffering from cancer and especially when it is hurting the ones you love.... you really loathe it and in so many ways you feel helpless in its path!
The unique experience about this event is all of the people coming together in order to remember the ones we have lost, support one another, encourage each other, celebrate in the lives that have been able to fight it, and somehow you try so hard to find some hope in whatever reason you have for attending. These girls just got done donating their hair. Karsyn loves pushing Grandma Ruth around, although we aren't ready just to let her go on her own. I don't think Grandma would appreciate it. Karsyn loves to hang out with her Great Grandma. In fact that night she wanted to have a sleep over all by herself with Grandma.
It is such a humbling, sobering, and life altering experience to walk around and see all of the bags that represent those lives that have been effected by cancer.
These are the survivors taking their first walk around the arena in order to kick off the night. I think it was somewhat impossible to find a dry eye in the place.

These are the moments that have helped define who I am as a person. I hope they help Kaydree and Karsyn realize just how much life is truly a gift each and every day. I hope that each of us remember that....how grateful we should be, when we are healthy and how much our prayers are needed for those who are not. I hope they also realize how much they are connected to their family, even the ones they didn't get to meet here on this earth.

Busy Girls:

This week the girls have been helping with freezing corn and beets.Karsyn has really enjoyed it!
They have also helped pick, wash and can tomato juice.

Kaydree has also worked on her ball rolling technique.

There's No Place Like Home....

After Benjy and I went away for the weekend, we joined the girls at my parent's house. Benjy went back today to work and the girls and I are staying here for the week. I really felt the need to be back home this week. We went out for lunch with lifelong friends and it was so nice just to sit and visit. Shawna and Becky are also pregnant and when we were leaving the host asked, "Is this a having a baby celebration or what?" We just laughed but I guess it really brought back memories for my mom and her friend Carol. 35 years ago Mary, My Mom and Carol were all pregnant with Chad, Becky and I! We then went and hung out with Uncle Roger and Aunt Judy and then went to see Grandma Ruth in her new Assisted Living Apartment. The girls built a fort!

They have been driving the golf cart and four wheeler and have loved having camp fires and sitting in the hot tub.
The girls built a Fort in the Wilderness and as Karsyn put it, "It blends in nicely with the environment!" They were dedicating their structure to Nacho Libre while they attempted to sing!

It Has Been confirmed...

we are having a boy. We were told at a 13 week ultrasound but I wanted to wait for another ultrasound to confirm it, before we really started preparing. I am now 24 weeks and this one was done at 21 weeks. This is a shot from the bottom and his legs were curled up towards his chest, so it would be as if he were sitting on the camera with his legs pulled up. Do you think he will be mad at me for posting this picture someday?

We had both of the girls with us and the ultrasound technician was so nice, she talked to the girls the whole time showing them all of the different parts and then she decided to throw in some 3D images for us. Of course I cried just seeing his little hand like that. His other hand was turned sideways and 3D couldn't pick it up in that position. It looked like he kept giving the girls a thumbs up! It was so cute. These pictures of course are somewhat....strange/weird in the sense that we aren't use to seeing our little ones in utero like this. However strange...it was precious!

Benjy thinks he looks like Smeagle off of Lord of the Rings....NICE..... But I look at it like this...he was only 21 weeks old here! Now his job is to keep putting on weight and filling out. We would love a big healthy boy! My mom got teary eyed when she saw the images...she thinks he already looked like Grandpa Cap in his nose and lips. Whatever he looks like, he is already our little guy in there and we are excited to meet him! Three different ultrasound technicians have told me and every time I go to the doctor... he says, "Boy, you have an active little one in there!" Yep...I know... I am the one he wakes up in the middle of the night, kicking and moving, and then Benjy says, "Oh....GREAT....I know we are in for it, if this boy is anything like I was!"

At a Loss for Words....

Do you ever reach that point where you just have run out of things to say? This summer has had it's ups and downs, trials and blessings, reunions and separations, amazing moments and extreme sadness. I have cried so much in the last two days that I feel like my tear ducts are running out of moisture. I feel at times my heart is going to burst with the love that I feel for my family because there is a hole that aches for a miraculous healing. I am amazed at the strength of my family. I know that so much is changing so fast and while there is so much to look forward to in certain areas of our life right now, I want to stop time altogether, and make everything all right.
I just read that it isn't the outcome of our trials that matters but how we endure them. On Sunday I heard a quote that, "FAITH is knowing that something good will eventually come out of our trials." Why is that so much easier said then done? And yet, the reality of it is....sometimes we just want to know why?
The burden is heavy and I pray that somehow.... someway.... the burden will be made light.
It is extremely devastating to watch the ones you love suffer as you feel helpless in the ability to bring them comfort.
And yet....it is that LOVE for each other that allows us to feel this deep connection, especially in families.
I want my family to know that I wish there was a way for me to reach out over the miles between us and hug each and every one of you and tell you that I love you!
So.... here is a cyber hug coming to all of you!