Forty Miles an Hour!

Karsyn has been trying to ride without training wheels and finally succeeded this weekend. That night she woke up with horrible leg cramps! She rode all day long without being able to see through her thick bangs which she doesn't like to pull back out on the farm! Benjy is a little sad that he only helped her once and then she took off. It's hard to see your baby grow up....but so fun at the same time!

Benjy: The Snake Wrangler

Memorial Day Weekend

We decided to visit my parents this weekend. Benjy helped my dad stain the house and I was planning on taking it easy all weekend. The girls were bummed that none of their cousins were going to be there to play with so they asked two of their friends to come with us. Maddy and Emily are their friends that are also sisters. Maddy is two years older than Kaydree and Emily is one year older than Karsyn.The biggest hit of the weekend were the 8 baby kittens.
Emily really wants to take this little kitten home. It really did take to her too!

We went out on the pontoon with my Great Aunt Janet, Great Uncle Eddie and Second Cousin Michelle. The water was very cold but it didn't stop the girls from jumping in!

They played in the hot tub a couple of times.

They enjoyed a camp fire and s'mores.

Karsyn did not want to get within 10 feet of those fish! She was so mad, look at that face!

After the girls had been on four wheeler rides, snake hunting, bug catching, carp shooting, hung out around chickens, turkeys and kittens and had a camp fire, my dad asked them, "Do your parents know what you have been up to?" Maddy smiled and said, "I don't think so." I think I did 3 loads of laundry in a day to clean their muddy and wet clothes. They definitely got to be farm girls this weekend and enjoyed the outdoors! It was a GREAT weekend.

A Very Personal and Private Post...

If you are someone who is uncomfortable with reading my personal thoughts, feelings, emotions and experiences, you don't want to read anymore of this post!

It is amazing to me how fast your life can change in one moment. Yesterday I was subbing at Blaine High School. The lesson plans were as follows: 1st hour watch JUNO, 2nd hour watch DAVE, 3rd hour from 11:26am-1:00PM lunch and prep and 4th hour watch DAVE. It was going to be an easy day. It started out as a great day and I decided to leave campus at lunch to go get Subway instead of buying the school lunch. (spicy chicken nuggets, yuck)

At lunch, I had a great conversation with Benjy while he was driving to an apt. South of the cities. We talked about names for the baby and he said, "Can you believe we are going to have another little one around?" We hung up and I went inside to get ready for my last class.

I went to the restroom and realized immediately that I was spotting, a little more than spotting. In that second I felt like my heart was being ripped from my chest. I told the secretary that I needed to leave from behind overwhelming tears and she sympathetically nodded and told me to leave and not worry about it.

I called Benjy, sobbing and told him I was so scared and that I was leaving to go to the doctor. He canceled his appointment and told me he would meet me there.

I kept praying, talking and pleading with my Heavenly Father to give me strength, peace and faith and to please let the baby be okay. I called my Mom and Amanda on the way and cried and cried and cried. I felt so helpless and desperate in that moment.

While I was waiting by myself for the doctor to come in, I felt the need to pull it together emotionally and to prepare myself for whatever happened next. I was just trying to push out every ounce of panic and realize that Heavenly Father has a plan for me and that I can trust in whatever that plan is. I knew I wasn't alone and that no matter what happened, everything would be okay, and I just knew that when I saw Kaydree and Karsyn later I would hug them that much tighter and focus on the blessings I have already been given!

Just as I felt that I had pulled it together, Benjy walked in and hugged me and I let it all out and sobbed, again. It was so emotionally overwhelming for me to feel so safe and loved in his arms. I just knew that together we could handle whatever came next. I knew that with him by my side I would be okay. He is always so strong where I am weak!

The doctor did an exam and said it looked good but said that he needed to do an ultrasound to make sure.

As I lay there waiting for him to tell me what he saw, Benjy was standing behind him and nodded and smiled at me and then he turned on the sound and there was the heart beat. Again, I cried tears of JOY and RELIEF. The baby was moving all around and Benjy said it even waved at him and that he saw it's little hand open and close!

The doctor told us that we weren't out of the woods yet, that with my thin uterine wall the placenta could be having attachment issues and that I needed to limit all unnecessary activity. He said don't do jumping jacks, hike up a hill, go for a run or anything strenuous.

I had similar issues with Kaydree and Karsyn's pregnancies (a little different) so Benjy said, "We have been down this road before. We know how to do this."

Benjy gave me a blessing last night and it brought me so much comfort. I am taking it easy and realizing that there really aren't any guarantees that everything is going to turn out the way we want.

I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father that is aware of us, a loving and supportive husband, two beautiful girls, supportive family and friends that love and care about us and that in the end we find the faith to see us through whatever his plan is for us!

Here is the ultrasound picture from yesterday, I keep looking at it and praying that this little one keeps growing and that my body will be able to support and sustain it until it is ready to make a healthy entrance into this world!

It is amazing to me how much this little one is already a part of our family and how much it is already loved!

Which do I dislike more?

Being tired or cold? Yesterday was a day for both. I woke up at 5:15 AM to teach at Andover High School. I didn't watch the news to see what the weather was going to do so I put on gauchos, flip flops and a 3/4 length sleeve shirt. I walked out the door and into the freezing 38 degrees and I about died! I didn't have enough time to run back in and change so I knew it was going to be a long cold day.
I get to Andover only to find out that the teacher made a mistake and forgot to cancel the job. So the district sent me to Anoka High School. I was forcing myself to find the energy to work 2 days this week (Monday and Thusday/Karsyn's school days.) However when I got to Anoka, they asked me to take a two day job for Thursday and Friday! I am not a very good, "NO," in person kind of person, so of course I said, "Yes."
I walked into my classroom and it felt like the FROZEN TUNDRA! They had turned off the heat and I wasn't dressed to be in a FREEZING COLD room ALL DAY!
Today, however, the good news is.... I am wearing jeans, a sweater and knee warm wool socks only to find out it is way...... warmer today more like a tropical paradise...! Good news is... I am warm... maybe a little HOT and it's Friday and I have prep first hour and today the classes get to watch Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmerman, which I love!
I know...I am such a wimp and a whiner but today I feel like....I have conquered the cold and the tiredness! I think it's going to be a great day! Thank.Goodness.It's.Friday!

Nit Picking: Topic of Family Council

When Benjy was the Ward Mission Leader our Family attended Family Home Evening for the Ward with New Converts and Investigators of the Church. It was a great experience for the girls most of the time. The lessons were geared toward adults so at times the girls got a little restless and often times we had to keep reminding them to be reverent. Now that we have soccer every Tuesday and Thursday night and Benjy and I use Wednesday nights for our Presidency meetings, we treasure our Monday night, Family Home Evening with the girls. Kaydree loves to conduct and Karsyn gives the best lessons. Benjy usually gives Family Counsel and last night he even shocked me with his impromptu topic.
He started off talking about the need for them to keep their rooms clean and I looked at him, and mouthed, the fighting...??????

Last month when our Home Teacher's were coming over the girls started "nit picking" at each other and Benjy said, "If you two don't stop we are going to ask our HomeTeachers for help with this issue." I could tell Kaydree was calling his bluff by laughing. Well when our Home Teachers asked if there was anything they could help with, Benjy asked them if they could help our girls learn how to stop bickering with each other. Our Home Teachers were great they talked about what our Heavenly Father would want of us to do and that if we love our Savior then that kind of love can help us get along with our sister. They even told the girls that they were going to check in on them and see how it was going.
The girls did great for a day or two and then slowly reverted back, so last night I felt that our Family Counsel needed to touch on this again....plus summer is coming up and they will be together a lot more, so we need to work on this.
So Benjy switched gears from cleaning to the fighting issue and said,"We are going to start making fun of the baby in mom's tummy. Let's start telling it that it's stinky and that we don't like it." (These are some of the statements that come out of Karsyn and Kaydree when they are fighting.)

I think I was just as shocked as the girls.
Kaydree reacted with, "Dad...what are you doing, the baby can hear us, stop, Dad."
Karsyn reacted by crying, saying, "Dad, don't do that, the baby is part of our family."
At this point, I knew what he was going to say next..." Kaydree and Karsyn look at each other, this baby is your brother or sister just like you are to each other. How is it any different then when you are being mean to one another." (I think some of his lawyering skills came out here?)

Then there was dead silence and they just looked at each other and I knew he had hit a home run! I knew that they had just had a huge teachable moment and that this counsel would stick for a little while, anyway!
He then had them stand right in front of each other and tell the other what they loved about them.
Kaydree said, "Karsyn I love that you are very sweet to me and that we have fun together."
Karsyn said, " Kaydree I love that you help take care of me and I love you and I know that you love me."
I am sure the nit picking will start again, but don't think that I won't ask them to come over and tell the baby whatever they are about to yell or tell their sister if it is something mean and I am hoping it will help them realize that we are given families here on this earth in order to love and support one another and it shouldn't change, no matter what age we are!
You know this parenting thing is one of the hardest things in the world. Being consistent is the greatest challenge. At times we do feel like we are making it up as we go and know that all we can do is keep praying, teaching, loving and hoping for the best.

Swine Flu Paranoia/Doctor Visit

So yesterday I woke up with plans to find a way to just do something a little different or find something special to do that day that made it different from the average day. I went all out, I changed what I had for breakfast. From my normal peanut butter toast with Welches Grape Jelly to a bowl of cereal. I found out very quickly that this had not been a very good idea. Immediately the nausea set in. So this morning I went back to my wonderful toast.
Karsyn and I hung out and snuggled on the couch until the phone rang and it was Kaydree's school. Telling me that the cough she had been fighting for a week seemed to be worse and that she needed to come home. I asked if she had developed a fever. Of course they said, "No." I was somewhat surprised they were even calling me, since Benjy and I had thought it was breaking up and sounding better. In fact the night before she went to soccer and ran around like crazy.
So I went to pick her up when the Secretary proceeded to comment that any child with Flu like symptoms should stay home for 7 days. I thought, am I missing the FLU like symptoms...being the hypochondriac that I am? REALLY? NO FeVEr and nothing other than a cough??????
So I canceled my cake job today, meaning Social Studies class.... watching videos all day! Man... and I will be taking Kaydree to the Doctor to rule out Swine Flu, to make the school happy! REALLY! Could it be the last name "Villarreal" invoking some heightened sense of paranoia? If anyone would know what the symptoms would be it would be someone like me who pays close attention to any type of germ, virus, bacteria, fungus, genetic, cancerous, green goo or could be type disease out there!
Side Note: If I get to the Doctor and she has Swine Flu I retract the last two sentences! And then I will be freaking out, too!

The Doctor pretty much laughed and said it is either a cold or allergies. Since she has no fever or other symptoms he thought it was crazy that the school even called.
He wrote a note:

To Whom it May Concern:
I saw Kaydree this morning and she has a cold. She does not have any signs of H1N1 and is NOT contagious!

He told me that I could bring Kaydree to school for the rest of the day at which point she started pleading desperately to stay home for a day without Karsyn. I told her it was up to her dad. Of course he was resistant and told her she needed to write out all her spelling words twice, read and take a nap. She jumped on the opportunity.

So what did we do? We hit a couple of Garage Sales, ate lunch, took a nap, got up and had ice cream and watched part of Twilight. (The age appropriate parts....after all...she is reading the book.) She is thinking she is "the bomb" right now!

Once again, I give a bad name for an Educator who is not suppose to support skipping school, but we did have a fun day together!

Someone Recently Asked....

"What does Kristen do during the day?" .... so it actually got me thinking....
Yesterday I spent the day working at Coon Rapids High School in a Special Education Room. I couldn't even begin to share how fulfilling and how happy it makes me to work with these students! They have unbelievably loving spirits.
Today...
I woke up at 6:50AM and couldn't wait to eat peanut butter toast with Welch's Grape Jelly on it.
Checked out the church website to see the video message. (Love these) This one was on finding happiness in this life. http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=e419fb40e21cef00VgnVCM1000001f5e340aRCRD
Washed my stinky dish rags in bleach. (Will not wash them with clothes...)
Sent out panic emails to quick change the playgroup from the Lake to the Park and then sent out multiple Texts... to make sure everyone knew. Called people to confirm.
Emailed Kaydree's teacher, made Karsyn eggs, got into an argument with Kaydree about her outfit, said a prayer and sent her off to school.
Took a quick bath, did Karsyn's hair and ran out the door to playgroup. (Amazed at the number of children and mother's who are so thankful to be outside, again!)
Had lunch with friends at McDonald's
Found enough energy to go for a 15 minute walk and a 5 minute Ellipse workout.
Talked to friends on the phone, my parents twice and Benjy 4 maybe 5 times. (Normal Day)
Talked to the Primary Secretary to confirm our meeting tomorrow night and to firm up some items.
Took a 45 minute nap
Woke up and put together Chicken Pot Pie.
Checked out blogs and email.
Printed 3 free dinner coupons from KFC. I am told you can print 4? Thanks Jody and Jackie! http://www.unthinkfc.com/
Took Kaydree to piano
Let my friend's puppies out
Picked Kaydree up, came home to eat dinner together as a family, which only two of us loved the pot pie and the other two picked it apart to only end up eating sandwiches.
Cleaned up dinner, threw in another load of laundry, got Kaydree's soccer snack together for her team and ran out the door to soccer.
Coached 5 year old soccer and saw a rainbow.
Came home put in another load of laundry
Read Scriptures together as a family, had family prayer and put the girls to bed.....
Blogged about this day just for the sake of keeping a book of remembrance and trying to remember someday....what did I do during the day?
Tomorrow my goal is to: not just go through the motions of the day but to find a way to make it different from today. Something like seeing the little things in life that make it memorable.

Como Zoo

Last week Kaydree and Karsyn got to hang out with their cousin, Nick. They had a blast! He made them both laugh so hard, they both had little accidents! ;-)

We went to the Zoo with Emily and Nick. It was perfect. Right as we were leaving it started pouring, but it was nice the whole time we were there.

It was fun having a little boy in the house. It is so funny how they are so different from girls even at such an early age!

Karsyn is such a little poser for pictures!

This room is always the stinkiest room!

At the end of the day, both Karsyn and Nick, crashed for 2 hours. I may have taken a little nap, too!

Do I Need to Apologize?

I know that most days, I am found moaning and groaning, sleeping, eating, or just laying around. I am sure some people are tired of hearing about how I feel, eat and sleep. There is usually truth in sarcasm, right? I wonder if I should apologize but the reality of it is....this is my reality. There isn't a moment that doesn't go by that I am not thinking about being pregnant, feeling pregnant or excited to be pregnant. When your body is going through noticeable changes very quickly, it is hard not to notice. Ask Benjy, just this morning he enjoyed pointing some of them out to me!
So here comes an apology for my inability to keep it together at a moment like this...for the next 6 months or so. My hormones are wacko right now to say the least, but I love it. No matter how sick I feel at times, I love it. No matter how tired I am, I love it! I will say I don't remember it being like this with the girls and neither does Benjy. He has been amazing and the girls are so unbelievably excited. My amazing family members, even Charlee...have just accepted this temporarily not as active MOM!
I am giving myself a pass to cherish this moment in my life, to slow down and do whatever works for me and my family. For the record, I am skipping out on so many deals at the stores right now, not getting to the gym, only subbing once a week, if that, and missing out on other various activities that I just don't have the energy for. Oh well! I think life is still going on around me.
Benjy and I agree that our priorities right now are... nurturing the little spirits we have already been entrusted with and in helping our Heavenly Father bring this little spirit into the world happy and healthy.
I see becoming a mother again as one of my greatest privileges, responsibilities and blessings. So do I need to apologize to those who don't want to hear about our pregnancy? Do I need to apologize to those who don't think I am doing enough for them? (non friends and family members) Do I need to apologize for only doing my hair once a week? (Actually I wash it now and let it dry curly.... I did this often with Kaydree and Karsyn's pregnancies too!)
Maybe I am the world's worst pregnant woman...but at least I am happy and feel extremely peaceful and to me that is what it is all about! So do I feel like my life has been somewhat slowed down to the essentials only? Yes....and it's GREAT! Simplicity is an amazing GIFT!

D&C 10: 4
4 Do not run faster or labor more than you have strength and means provided to enable you to translate; but be diligent unto the end.